First and foremost, thank you very much for all the positive feedbacks that you guys gave me for my last article. It all meant so much to me. I would like to point out one of the feedbacks that I got, so, somebody said to me that finding what makes us really passionate to the bone is a big reason enough for us to keep going, and I loved every word of it because that is exactly what I'm trying to say this whole time. So many of us are scared of our own darkness. Anxiety, insecurity, or you may say our uniqueness which I have to say that I disagree because uniqueness is not a darkness, to be unique meaning to be your own kind beautiful and that is one of the most precious things in life. Speaking of our darkness, to be honest with you guys, I, sometimes, still drown in my own darkness. I, too, sink too deep in my own darkest thoughts of myself. The fear and the doubts that I have never been good enough for someone, especially my parents, the efforts that I put to be kind and yet some people may have still find me as a selfish human being, scared to open certain doors within myself that it might lead to my worst nightmares, yes, I'm a human and I believe it's normal to feel this way. Sometimes it sucks to feel everything so deeply and yet they are truly blessings for being alive. 

This is all about listening to the voice inside our head and our inner heart. To connect with who you truly are. It happens when these two voices giving us contradictory conditions which confuse the heck out of us and yet it is our option to balance them both. As an example, being in a long distance relationship gives you the hardest time, like you may communicate with them every single day and yet you'll still feel kinda lonely because the person who you want to be there with you is not there. You end up being lonely and not the kind lonely that brings you peace. With the time difference and each of our own busy life, that shit just make it harder and harder. The voice inside my head says to let it go but my inner heart says that I need to keep going no matter how hard it is. At the end of the day, I gotta follow what truly feels good for me and to view this as a contradiction as wish to balance. The heart wants to keep going because of the fear of being physically and emotionally alone, the voice inside my head wants to let it go because it feels like it's not going anywhere and it is not worth it to go through it all. How do I find the balance in this? Yes, we haven't officially said the word of breaking up but we both know that we're done. However, we are still on good terms, we always find some time to talk whenever both of us have free time. I still ask how his day is going and so does he. Just because the relationship is over doesn't mean the communication has to. We both are adults so we always try our best to understand each other. So I know a lot of you guys are wondering how it is with us right now that I'm here in the United States and he's in Switzerland. I'm just going to clear it out for you guys in here.

Are we still together? I have to say no

Are we going to meet ever again? there's a big chance that we will meet again, soon. 

What is our label right now? we don't have a label. 

Do you know if he's hanging out with another girl? Yes, he is hanging out with another and I do hang out with another guy too, and we're both cool about it. 

Do you miss him? every day.

What if you fall in love with the new guy you're hanging out with right now? Honey, I want to say that it takes me such a long time to be in love with someone but I don't wanna be a hypocrite because you'll never know what's gonna happen. So, I'm just gonna say that maybe there's a slightly fact that I'll fall in love with him but I need another year alone. 

What if he's the one who falls in love with his new girl? I will be very happy and plus I would be able to give him personal advice on dating and be in a relationship based on ours (evil laugh), ok that was a joke, of course I'd be happy and support whatever it is that makes him happy (might sound like bullshit but trust me it is really not).

What will happen when you're meeting him later on, wouldn't it be awkward? Trust me, our connection is beyond past awkwardness, we probably wouldn't stop talking because there's so much to catch up depending on how long we haven't seen each other. 

What do you miss most about him? Probably all the time we were watching sports matches together (premiere league, nba playoff, ufc, you name it), and how he always acts up that he's not annoyed but I know deep down, I always annoy the shit out of him. 

Now that everything is cleared up, I just want to prove my point that to keep the balance between the voice inside your head and your inner heart is really important. At the end of the day, you have to choose what truly feels good and what's best for you. I am so much happier than I was when I left Switzerland. Nonetheless, these last couple weeks, I fucked up a pretty good thing in my life, I fucked up big time just because I was sad, and I worried too much and afraid of my own thoughts. Anyways, I feel so much better knowing that everything is changing back to normal, it takes time, but one step at a time. I'm trying my best to fix everything, directly and indirectly. So, for those who I hurt recently, I'm sorry, I truly am. It wasn't right for hurting you just because I was hurt too. 

Oh wow, didn't expect to talk this deep in this post but whatever. Let's just move to another topic, shall we? 

Some of you may have known from my Instagram story that I went to a thrift shop! Yes, I was actually really excited to go to a thrift shop because literally, you would never know that you would find such a great treasure in thrift shops. I found some great stuff in thrift shop that I will share to you guys on my next post. Haha what a plot twist. I mentioned about thrift shop because that's where I found this amazing street art background. I would love to give some credits to people who made it but unfortunately, I have no idea who made this graffiti art and there was no watermarks or some shit like that at all, so in case this person found my blog and reading this, I just wanna say, you're a real fucking talent, good job!