Hi from sunny California, I hope you guys are doing well and enjoying the delicate rays of fall sun and getting physically and mentally prepared as winter is approaching and so I know, it's already snowing in Switzerland, to all my friends in Switzerland, you'll get through the cold, don't worry! 

Just a quick update about me, the resort that I work at is going to be closed for two weeks because it's been real slow and they all need to prepare for the winter because winter is a pretty big deal in here, there's gonna be a lot of celebrations, they are building an ice skating rink as we talk right now, the hills are gonna be covered in snow so it's going to be amazing, I'm so excited! Anyways, because of the resort is closing so I have nothing to do for 2 weeks. At first, I didn't really wanna go anywhere because I was torn whether I should save up my money or travel. Then, all my friends are telling me that they're going somewhere like Chicago, New York, LA, and by the time they left the house, that wonderer soul of me hit me like a truck. I'm not going to waste my time just sitting here alone doing nothing, I can't. So, what I did was that I booked my flight to Miami like 2 hours ago and I'm leaving tomorrow, for those who don't know, I'm really spontaneous that way. I remember when it was 2 months before I leave Switzerland, my friend texted me asking if I wanna go to Belgium tomorrow and I quickly said yes even though I only had like 135CHF on hand. However, the trip was great, got to catch up with some of my friends who live there, never regret my decisions for traveling even I ended up can't buy food for quite some time.

Enough about the small talk, I gave you guys a little clue on my Instagram story about what I'm going to talk about in this article. Yes! I'm going to talk about 'self-love', the keyword that I keep repeating to myself this past couple of months. To love myself hard enough is so hard to acquire, I know some of you are struggling with it too because it honestly needs a lot of efforts to put into it. It is a mental discipline where you have to wake up everyday with a fixed mindset that in fact "I am beautiful", we are beautiful. Lately, I have been struggling really hard to understand that self-love is deeply important for my emotions. I underestimated the meaning of it as I was too busy obsessing every little things over someone else other than myself. I have never realized that love and obsession is two different things. So they say love is more about personality and obsession is more about the looks. I was constantly trying too hard to see the beauty in everything but me. Sometimes I woke up feeling really ungrateful about my looks, I have always complained that I'm not beautiful enough, I hated the way my nose looks, I hated how my cheeks are way too chubby, every single second of my life in these past couple of months I have spent it with negative thoughts about myself. Not to mention how I always compare myself to any pretty girls. To be frank, writing this article is beyond hard that I feel like I'm exposing myself truly deep but it doesn't matter because I really just want to take the time to actually outgrow my own self and become in some way a selfless creation. Having a low self-esteem has always been a problem with me, I might not show it to my surroundings but I'm literally struggling with it every second of my day. I wouldn't say that I got depressed because of my insecurities but I would just say that it truly ate up my mind and my soul, it was just so toxic. It was really poisonous that I couldn't even look at my reflection on the mirror because I would just feel bad and hurt by looking at it. I could just let myself drown in endless jealousy and start pushing people who actually care about me despite my looks away from my life. That's how bad it is. It took some time for me to come to the realization that looks are not everything. I know that gaining the confidence in nowadays society is so damn hard because people are so critical but to feel confident, to strongly believe that we are perfect, to plant that kind of thinking in our mind is very important. We all have so much love in our heart that we should give some to ourselves regardless what people think. Now here comes the question, how do we do self-love? How do we love ourselves? So here's what I think: do what you are afraid to do and focus on the good things only. I don't know about you but these two things are working really well for me. I told you I was afraid to look at my reflection on the mirror because I would start complaining about million things that I would like to change on my body, then I really tried bit by bit to stand for quite some time without complaining at all. Moreover, to be sincere, my life has been a freaking amazing journey that I wouldn't even trade with anything else in the whole world. So, it got me really thinking, am I going to ruin it just because all these insecurities that are not even true? which got me to my second point which is start to look at things differently by focusing on the positive points and factors instead of negative ones. We also need to know that not all things is about competition so if some people find your other friend is more attractive than they finding you, well so what? Maybe they don't know you well enough because deep down we know that ourselves got amazing personality that only people you love will notice and constantly attracted by you. Start to plant these two mindsets every now and then because we can't grow flowers over night. From now on, I sincerely believed that as long as I've got me, as long as I love me, everything else will fall into places. 

Now, here are some potraits of me trying to embrace my flaws. I always take picture from my better angle which is left side and I'm really trying to prove my point by showing you guys my right angle (third picture), I have always hated it, but now I'm starting to love it. Before you guys say anything such as why do I wear make up in these pictures etc. I have my reasons. First, I have always loved my skin, I don't have the clearest skin or whatever but I never ashamed by it, I could post a picture on my Insta story about my skin breaking out and stuff because that's how my skin is, maybe one or two pimple came out but then after a week it's gone, so I've always been feeling pretty confident about my skin. The reason that I wore make up because I feel like make up is also my art (even though I am much better of doing art on a piece of paper but a girl gotta try). So here we go, I hope you are enjoying this article and starting to love yourself hard enough because it's important to always remember that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Goodbye sweet loves, I'm looking forward to tell you about my upcoming trip to Miami when the time comes!