Howdy!

How are you guys feeling today? Are you staying at home? I hope you guys stay safe and stay healthy, I know it's really hard to stay inside all the time, I feel you. I've been staying home for 8 days now since I came back from the U.S and I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like my mind is about to blow up for real. Bet so many of you are wondering why I'm home, whether I'm home for good now or I'll just be staying until all of this over.

It's funny, I wrote about this post a week ago before I went to Los Angeles, and I put it on my draft as I felt like I was gonna continue it later. Everything changed 0-100 real quick that I don't feel like posting my writing from the draft anymore. It's crazy. The post that I wrote before this was just how I felt hearing about all this corona virus cases increasing drastically in every single day, then I was explaining how I loved my new job as a barista as I just got transferred to another outlet in my workplace which apparently not my job anymore. Yeah! I'm so totally bummed! Oh I'm sorry, I haven't been around much so I feel like I need to give you guys a life update. Ok, let me start over.

As you guys have known, I went to LA a couple weeks ago, it was totally spontaneous decision because one of my good friends, Sky, was about to leave America for good, so we went to LA by car as a farewell trip. From Tahoe to Los Angeles is like 8 hours drive, it wasn't a really long drive but I was EXHAUSTED. Why? Well, let me break it down for you. The day before we left, I had to do my laundry, so I did it in the evening around 8pm, then I had a couple drinks with my friend. After that, one of my supervisors called me to come to this bar, so I went (oh yeah, I really get along with all my bosses, they're super cool!). When I arrived, I really liked the vibes, there were so many familiar people so I had couple more drinks, couple more, and couple more until I got lost how many drinks I had. It was real fun until they announced the bar is closing which is like 2.30am something. We always stay for half an hour more because we knew the bartender, so we ended up leaving the bar at 3.00am. I didn't plan it at all, I was just gonna go home and pack after I did my laundry. Things get worse, because when I got home, I needed to fold my laundry and pack when I was supposed to be sleeping. Even worse, I had to go to work at 5.20am because my work starts at 6. IMAGINE! So I packed my stuff like really fast, then I got like one hour and a half sleep more or less. I went to work, I had so much energy maybe because I was excited that I was gonna go to LA (or because I was still drunk, no-one really knows). So, I showed up at my work, it was kind of slow because of all this corona virus. Then around 2pm, my friends came pick me up at work then we go to LA. So, I let Sky drive first even though I really don't trust her driving skill but whatever, at least it'll give me some time to close my eyes and rest a little bit. We were passing by Sacramento, all of a sudden my friends were screaming so loud hysterically. Sky and Heisil (my other friend) were saying OH MY GOD OH MY GOD repeatedly. My heart was beating so fast, I had no clue what was happening. I opened my eyes, I saw with my own eyes that we were so close with crashing the cars in front of us and beside us. I was so scared, damn felt like my soul just flew away. I'm not being dramatic or whatever but we really were that close for having a car accident. Thank god we didn't crash at all. So we get off from the highway and we exchanged driver, I drove for the rest of the way which was 4 more hours. I was really exhausted, but I'm glad we made it. We really had amazing time in LA (I'll give you the details on my next post).
Fast forward, we made it back to Tahoe. The corona virus cases going crazier and crazier that we heard there were 2 confirmed cases already in Truckee which is where the video took place. I had a little photoshoot in Truckee couple days before I heard that, so we were very shocked. After that, I got an announcement that my workplace gonna suspend all its operations for 6 weeks, which is crazy. I can't even live for one whole month without income, and this is one and a half month. I had to pay my rent, my phone bill, food, gas, everything! And they are just targeting for reopening on May 1st but they had no clue if they have to extend the operation suspension or we can go back to work to normal. So I was really stressed because of this whole thing, I was thinking to go to my aunt's place in New York, I talked with her and she really wanted me to come so I can be safe with her and I don't have to pay rent or food. Then again,  NY is one of the most infected area in the united states, so it's so damn risky to travel there, and NY is like a ghost town so there's no point to travel there. I wanted to leave for good to Indonesia but I still had my car that I needed to sell and silly me I didn't have the key because I lost it in the snow late night lol, it was stupid. So yeah, how am I supposed to sell a car without its keys, and no I didn't have the duplicate keys smh. My parents wanted me to come home so badly because they were really worried about this whole thing and being far away from me not helping them at all. After one whole week thinking it through, it was a really hard decision but thankfully it was the right decision. I decided to go home, so you might be wondering what I did to my car. The next day, I started shoveling all the snow in front of my house and asking bunch of my friends to help me out find it lol which we never did, but it was kinda fun. I ended up calling a locksmith and make a new car key for $250, damn I never felt so sad for spending that much money for something so stupid, oh no actually I did, yeah I had to spend $400 for a tow truck to tow my car which broke down in the middle of a highway at 2am in the morning ON MY FREAKING BIRTHDAY. Oh well, oh well. Anyways, I had the new key and I ask my friend to sell it for me so yeah, that's what happened with Gunther. Yes, it's my car's name, we named my car so what.

Leaving US was so damn hard, because I made so many REAL friends and real friends are hard to find. It wasn't as hard as leaving Switzerland to be honest but yeah I loved living in Tahoe, it was beautiful and amazing experience. Work was going really well that they were gonna make me a supervisor, I was working my ass off, doubling in every department, being a host, barista, busser, food expo, all different positions in every week and I loved it, I really did. Mostly because of the people that I work with and the job is really fun too, each day is different story. I really wish I could come back in the future because apparently my plan A doesn't work out. I planned it out for real that I was gonna marry some green card holder so I can get a green card too, too bad it didn't work out.

I think that's about it for my life updates and here I'll present you another outfit ideas. Perfect for going out, to stroll around the city, lunch date also if you wanna get a little adventurous and discover some new places in town! It's really funny because I spent my last 2 years hating on everyone who wears leather jacket, I didn't know why. I promised myself that I would never own or even buy a leather jacket for a friend, but meh everybody changed, now I own three of them. So, in this photoshoot I was wearing a simple brown knitwear which is my favorite thing to wear because you can wear it during summer and it's also a little warm that you can wear in the winter. The pants that I was wearing were not jeans, they were basically trousers that I wear for work hahahah. For the shoes, I was wearing my favorite boots which is the ribbed block heel chelsea boots, I bought them from Zalando when I was still in Switzerland. I also put on a hat because you know me, I always feel empty without hair accessories. So I will end this post by attaching all the pictures down below. Once again guys, I hope you stay safe and stay healthy wherever you are! If you ever want to talk or need a friend to talk with, dm me on insta at anytime! I will answer and respond to it. I will see you on my next post!

Much Love, xx
Dind





 P.s: Little did sky knew, Peru was gonna close its borders 2 days before her flight. So I ended up leaving United States for good before her. I miss her tho!

Hi from sunny California, I hope you guys are doing well and enjoying the delicate rays of fall sun and getting physically and mentally prepared as winter is approaching and so I know, it's already snowing in Switzerland, to all my friends in Switzerland, you'll get through the cold, don't worry! 

Just a quick update about me, the resort that I work at is going to be closed for two weeks because it's been real slow and they all need to prepare for the winter because winter is a pretty big deal in here, there's gonna be a lot of celebrations, they are building an ice skating rink as we talk right now, the hills are gonna be covered in snow so it's going to be amazing, I'm so excited! Anyways, because of the resort is closing so I have nothing to do for 2 weeks. At first, I didn't really wanna go anywhere because I was torn whether I should save up my money or travel. Then, all my friends are telling me that they're going somewhere like Chicago, New York, LA, and by the time they left the house, that wonderer soul of me hit me like a truck. I'm not going to waste my time just sitting here alone doing nothing, I can't. So, what I did was that I booked my flight to Miami like 2 hours ago and I'm leaving tomorrow, for those who don't know, I'm really spontaneous that way. I remember when it was 2 months before I leave Switzerland, my friend texted me asking if I wanna go to Belgium tomorrow and I quickly said yes even though I only had like 135CHF on hand. However, the trip was great, got to catch up with some of my friends who live there, never regret my decisions for traveling even I ended up can't buy food for quite some time.

Enough about the small talk, I gave you guys a little clue on my Instagram story about what I'm going to talk about in this article. Yes! I'm going to talk about 'self-love', the keyword that I keep repeating to myself this past couple of months. To love myself hard enough is so hard to acquire, I know some of you are struggling with it too because it honestly needs a lot of efforts to put into it. It is a mental discipline where you have to wake up everyday with a fixed mindset that in fact "I am beautiful", we are beautiful. Lately, I have been struggling really hard to understand that self-love is deeply important for my emotions. I underestimated the meaning of it as I was too busy obsessing every little things over someone else other than myself. I have never realized that love and obsession is two different things. So they say love is more about personality and obsession is more about the looks. I was constantly trying too hard to see the beauty in everything but me. Sometimes I woke up feeling really ungrateful about my looks, I have always complained that I'm not beautiful enough, I hated the way my nose looks, I hated how my cheeks are way too chubby, every single second of my life in these past couple of months I have spent it with negative thoughts about myself. Not to mention how I always compare myself to any pretty girls. To be frank, writing this article is beyond hard that I feel like I'm exposing myself truly deep but it doesn't matter because I really just want to take the time to actually outgrow my own self and become in some way a selfless creation. Having a low self-esteem has always been a problem with me, I might not show it to my surroundings but I'm literally struggling with it every second of my day. I wouldn't say that I got depressed because of my insecurities but I would just say that it truly ate up my mind and my soul, it was just so toxic. It was really poisonous that I couldn't even look at my reflection on the mirror because I would just feel bad and hurt by looking at it. I could just let myself drown in endless jealousy and start pushing people who actually care about me despite my looks away from my life. That's how bad it is. It took some time for me to come to the realization that looks are not everything. I know that gaining the confidence in nowadays society is so damn hard because people are so critical but to feel confident, to strongly believe that we are perfect, to plant that kind of thinking in our mind is very important. We all have so much love in our heart that we should give some to ourselves regardless what people think. Now here comes the question, how do we do self-love? How do we love ourselves? So here's what I think: do what you are afraid to do and focus on the good things only. I don't know about you but these two things are working really well for me. I told you I was afraid to look at my reflection on the mirror because I would start complaining about million things that I would like to change on my body, then I really tried bit by bit to stand for quite some time without complaining at all. Moreover, to be sincere, my life has been a freaking amazing journey that I wouldn't even trade with anything else in the whole world. So, it got me really thinking, am I going to ruin it just because all these insecurities that are not even true? which got me to my second point which is start to look at things differently by focusing on the positive points and factors instead of negative ones. We also need to know that not all things is about competition so if some people find your other friend is more attractive than they finding you, well so what? Maybe they don't know you well enough because deep down we know that ourselves got amazing personality that only people you love will notice and constantly attracted by you. Start to plant these two mindsets every now and then because we can't grow flowers over night. From now on, I sincerely believed that as long as I've got me, as long as I love me, everything else will fall into places. 

Now, here are some potraits of me trying to embrace my flaws. I always take picture from my better angle which is left side and I'm really trying to prove my point by showing you guys my right angle (third picture), I have always hated it, but now I'm starting to love it. Before you guys say anything such as why do I wear make up in these pictures etc. I have my reasons. First, I have always loved my skin, I don't have the clearest skin or whatever but I never ashamed by it, I could post a picture on my Insta story about my skin breaking out and stuff because that's how my skin is, maybe one or two pimple came out but then after a week it's gone, so I've always been feeling pretty confident about my skin. The reason that I wore make up because I feel like make up is also my art (even though I am much better of doing art on a piece of paper but a girl gotta try). So here we go, I hope you are enjoying this article and starting to love yourself hard enough because it's important to always remember that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Goodbye sweet loves, I'm looking forward to tell you about my upcoming trip to Miami when the time comes!

My sweet loves, I hope you are doing well because let me tell you I am doing very fine. I feel so great that I can feel my heart is bubbling. The positive vibes that I've been given these days really amazed me. Work and time have been rich and busy and I've been working like a mad horse these last few days but even so I am feeling great. I can't believe that time flies really fast, it's been almost two months that I'm here in the United States, and winter is coming real soon. So I've heard that winter in Tahoe is mad cold, crazier than winter in Switzerland and I can feel it, it's getting crazy cold out here but that is okay as long as I get a partner to cuddle up hehe you feel me? Currently, I just got home from work, took a warm shower, put on my skincare, listening to some chill music to get me into the vibes for writing this article. 

So, couple weeks ago I went to Robert McQueen High School to do some photoshoot. I have never been to American high schools before so I was really excited that I get to see how high school life truly is in America. I knew this location from a friend, he used to study there and I'm telling you, I don't think all the high school kids that I met that day knew that I am actually college graduate, they act like I'm one of them, ain't no complaints tho. Oh the feelings you get from the atmosphere around the school, you have no idea how it reminded me back to time when I was still in high school even though i felt like it was pretty different compare to my time which probably because of the lifestyle and the culture, but still. It took me back to all those great times which mostly stupid things that we did in high school. I remember when I was still in high school, probably the best time period in my life. Fun fact, I tried cheerleading but I gave up because I wasn't feeling into it, and I ended up holding the spot as the manager of a flag football team of our school. Also, I always sat at the back of the class with my squad being the loudest ever but every time the teacher asked one of us to come up front and answer the calculation or whatever, we always nailed it, that was just how cool we are. Someone always brought a guitar, whenever there was a sub, we were just chilling and singing or taking a nap. My high school friends? Seriously, they were the only motivation for me to come to school. I can tell you that high school is the time when I learned so much about friendship, loyalty, to always be there for the person you love and who loves you. Now? All the high school kids are pretty much obsessed with fame, all they care about is who gets the most likes on Instagram or gets the most views on youtube or followers on Twitter, and other social media page, well I'm sure you know the drill. Hanging out with some people  just because they want to become popular like them. This kind of situation is where it hits me, it made me wonder is it me who changed or just the whole world suddenly different. I don't want to be a hypocrite to say that my life never ruled by the amount of likes or followers I get. There was a time when this happened and let me tell you something that in fact I had my first anxiety attacks because of this. I was drown in jealousy and not loving myself enough just because I don't get enough likes from other people. I truly felt like I was lacking an absolute sense of my integrity, made me lost a real relationship just because I was too busy posting a couple goal type of pictures without realizing that I neglected the communication between us. I felt so miserable for obsessing from the things that are not even real.  I can tell you that it is not worth it. Since then, I just share what I want to share, post pictures mostly about my outfit because fashion is what I'm passionate about, or either fun times and friendships. You see, I have always believed that friendship is what matters the most and the basic foundation of a friendship is by the quality of the person. So, I don't care if you have 100k likes for your pic on Insta, or 300 likes, or even 12 likes, to hell I care, if I get your vibes and you get mine, nothing else matters. Trust me, it is so easy to make new friends, I get new friends all the time, but to get ones who will stay through your ups and downs, who will stay after you did the most fucked up thing, who will listen to you and protect you, who will tell you what you did was wrong but still support you, that shit is beyond hard. Thus, I am so freaking grateful that I can proudly say that all my best friends have all that quality in them. Thank god for all those beautiful human beings because I know deep down in my heart, there were times that I thought I couldn't get back my feet up to live my life if it wasn't because of them. 

To sum up, I just want to say to all the teenagers, please enjoy your time, enjoy your time while you still can, do something stupid with your friends that can make you laugh cuz you're going to remember it for the rest of your life, do something memorable before the adults life come and get ya which the time where it's all nothing but bills and problems. Mark my words.